Leviathan

BYU Police Beat

Excerpts from the Daily Universe police beat:

A female student in her 50s had an issue with the University.  Police showed on the scene and told her it was not OK to yell and scream about it.

A call reported a person lying on the grass on the north end of the Conference Center. When police arrived the person was gone.

A man was reported trespassing on LaVell Edwards Stadium. When police arrived, they found the man was a worker at the stadium.

Officers responded to a report of a person in a gorilla suit at the JSB. The investigation
resulted in the arrest of a 15-year-old visitor for disorderly conduct.

A student reported a group of students picking up a car and moving it to a different parking stall. Police spoke with the owner of the car, who moved it back. There was no damage to the car.

A female student reported a male student showing his bare buttocks out the window of a car on East Campus Drive. An investigation is continuing.

Trespassing was reported at LaVell Edwards Stadium. When an officer arrived, she found it was just the sprinkling system.

A male was reported urinating in a cup outside of the SWKT. The male was stopped and identified. The complainant and victims chose not to press charges. The male was warned not to repeat this action in public again.

Campus Police received a call at 7 a.m. saying a bat was flying around in the Wilkinson Center. An officer was dispatched, who then opened a door, and the bat flew out. 

Four males were reported attempting to catch ducks at the botany pond. The four males were asked to leave by police.

BYU officers responded to a report of a car playing music loudly from its speakers in a parking lot. The officers found students dancing by the vehicle. They were asked to turn down the music. The students complied and left the area.

An officer witnessed a male suspect kick one of the light posts on campus, causing it to go out. When the officer confronted the male, he apologized. Luckily, the light came back on and the male’s frustration didn’t damage the post seriously.

A caller with a Jamaican accent made a call to the police department trying to reach basketball coach Dave Rose. He wanted to inform the coach that he won a contest and to receive his prize he simply had to send them a cashier’s check. Being familiar with the scam, the officer told him to stop calling; the caller was persistent and continued his calls. By coincidence, the coach was in the office during one of his calls and told the secretary to give the caller his number. The coach then took care of the problem by blowing a very loud whistle into the mouthpiece. The caller has not called back since.

A Joke

Courtesy of Sonya, my Korean roommate:

"So, okay.  This doctor has these pipes that break or something, so he calls a plumber.  The plumber comes and fixes the pipes, you know?  The doctor asks to the plumber, 'So, you make pretty good money right?'  The plumber says, 'Yeah it's pretty good.'  Then the doctor says, 'Yeah I wish I was a plumber.'  And so the plumber says, 'Yeah, cause I used to be a doctor!'  Funny, right?"